Born for Trouble by Joe R. Lansdale

Published by Tachyon Publications on March 21, 2022

I always enjoy Joe Lansdale’s stories about Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. I always enjoy anything Lansdale writes. Born for Trouble collects five Hap and Leonard stories. For readers who are unfamiliar with the duo, this is as good a place to start as any. These are excellent tales by a skilled storyteller.

The two longest entries I’ve read and reviewed before. “Coco Butternut” and “Hoodoo Harry” were published in their own volumes.

The other three:

“Sad Onions.” Hap and Leonard come upon a woman in the road who walked away from a single-car accident that killed her husband. The accident doesn’t seem right to Hap or Leonard. Since it is none of their business, they look into it. The wife is young, white, and beautiful. Her dead husband was a wealthy, older black man. The police don’t seem interested. Hap and Leonard uncover a murder plot and make their usual irreverent jokes as they try to avoid becoming the next victims.

“The Briar Patch Boogie” begins with a funny conversation about how perspectives change as we age. On a miserable camping and fishing trip that might have been fun when they were young, Hap and Leonard witness a murder. The killers are guys who make a sport of killing hookers. The story eventually turns into a “Most Dangerous Game” plot, with the twist that the hunters use bows and arrows. The story delivers a true rush of adrenalin.

“Cold Cotton.” Hap’s doctor recommends a once-over by a therapist named Carol Cotton as an alternative to Viagra when Hap isn’t getting the desired results with his wife Brenda. Perhaps Hap is stressed by the evil in the world or by his violent response to it (although he’s made a point of being less violent after moving past his midlife point). Before Hap decides whether to call the therapist, she hires Hap and Leonard (and Brenda and Leonard’s lover Pookie) to provide security in response to threats she’s received. The story takes a couple of unexpected turns and ends with the kind of bloodbath that Hap and Leonard regularly encounter. No wonder Hap needs therapy for his limp organ.

Hap narrates the stories and isn’t shy about sharing his opinions. Like, “in Texas every asshole walks around with a gun and thinks they’re Wyatt Earp.” All the characters, including minor characters, regularly exchange good natured insults; snappy dialog is part of the fun.

These stories reflect aging characters. Hap, at least, is mellowing. Leonard still views violence as a first option when villains deserve a good thrashing (or a good killing), as they usually do. The enduring value of the stories is that Lansdale has imagined a world in which a straight white liberal and a gay black Republican can agree on something — in fact, on most things. Their mutual understanding that human dignity, respectful behavior, and fishing are fundamentally important provide a bond that transcends their political views. Hap and Leonard could be role models for us all (regardless of how we feel about fishing).

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The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi

Published by Tor Books on March 15, 2022

John Scalzi spent two months of his pandemic knocking out an amusing novel. When he’s being serious, Scalzi can be an incredibly moving writer. Even when he knocks out a two-month pandemic wonder that is written for laughs, he’s a good storyteller who makes me smile.

Jamie Gray has a tech job for a niche startup that competes with food delivery apps like Uber Eats. After he’s fired, he signs up to make deliveries because there aren’t many jobs available during the pandemic. After making several deliveries to a customer who has sympathy for Jamie’s situation, the customer offers Jamie a job. His new job, as he frequently explains, is to lift things.

Until he arrives in Greenland, Jamie doesn’t realize that he will be working in another universe. It’s possible to cross into that universe (and for very large and nasty creatures called kaiju to cross into ours) when the dimensional barrier is weakened by nuclear explosions. Unfortunately, the radiation from those explosions attracts the kaiju, who are basically powered by their own naturally occurring nuclear reactors.

The kaiju are not so much animals as ecosystems. They maintain symbiotic relationships with parasites that keep them from exploding like a nuclear bomb. Every now and then, their system breaks down and the kaiju die a spectacular death.

Most people don’t know about this alternative universe, although rich people are in on the secret because they’re helping the government fund its study. Jamie’s team is one of three that periodically enter the universe through the Greenland portal. Most of his colleagues are scientists but they still need someone to lift things.

Scalzi explains enough of the science underlying the alternate Earth to fool me (a nonscientist) into believing that the story is plausible. That’s all the science I need in a story that is meant to amuse.The plot sets up a rich guy as an evil nemesis of Jamie. Naturally, the evil rich guy embarks on an evil scheme and it will be up to Jamie (and a few other characters) to thwart him.

This is primarily a science fiction conspiracy thriller with enough action to justify calling it a thriller despite its failure to thrill. The plot doesn’t hold any real surprises, but the characters’ banter is … amusing. Scalzi fans presumably understand how his characters  engage in good-natured banter. The banter is probably enough to keep them happy until Scalzi turns his attention to more serious work.

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The Match by Harlan Coben

Published by Grand Central Publishing on March 15, 2022

The Match uses reality TV as its hook. The story imagines a show that is a cross between The Bachelor and Survivor, a show apparently inspired by Pat Benatar’s classic song, “Love Is a Battlefield.”

Peter Bennett was a popular participant in the show. He wooed and conquered Jenn Cassidy. They became a popular reality TV couple. Their fame led to endorsement deals and countless freebies. Accusations that Peter roofied and slept with his Jenn’s sister put an end to his marriage and to his TV popularity. Sexually assaulting your in-laws doesn’t earn “likes.” Peter disappeared after his followers chose not to believe his denials. All of that is an interesting background, particularly for reality TV fans who understand that reality TV is completely divorced from reality.

At some point, Peter contacted Wilde through a DNA-match site. Peter and Wilde both submitted DNA samples to the site, which determined that they are close relatives. Wilde, a character Harlan Coben premiered in The Boy in the Woods, was apparently left in the woods as a small child. He has no memory of how he got there. He’s never explored his ancestry but people who are close to him have repeatedly nagged him to figure out how he came to be abandoned and how he survived. Peter’s message — a message that Wilde didn’t see because for months he was off on a frolic of his own — suggests that Peter is in trouble and needs Wilde’s help.

In addition to reality TV, the story is driven by the theme of cyberbullying. Peter is a natural target of trolls who feel justified targeting anyone they decide to dislike. Coben adds a twist to that theme by imagining a vigilante group of hackers called Boomerang. Boomerang punishes trolls and online bullies, sometimes by doxing them. Boomerang members do not know the identities of the other members. When the members notice that some of the trolls they took action against have been murdered, Boomerang enters crisis mode.

Coben usually constructs decent plots. The Match is one of his better efforts. Its about as credible as the plots of most modern thrillers (not very) but multiple killings and multiple clues about the killer keep Wilde (and the reader) guessing.  The ending is a bit contrived but Wilde at least finds a plausible answer to a key question about his origin.

While Coben isn’t a great prose stylist, his limitations are less noticeable in The Match than in some of his other books. He gives his characters snappy dialog and keeps the plot moving. Wilde is an unsurprising character. He raised himself in the woods, so he prefers to be alone unless he’s having sex. That’s an easy personality to image but it such a limited personality that characterization isn’t a draw for the Wilde novels. That begins to change at the end of novel, so the next book (if another one is coming) might broaden Wilde's horizons. My preference would be for Coben to write another Myron Bolitar novel, but I can’t bend the man to my will, so we’ll just have to see what he does next.

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The Dickens Boy by Thomas Keneally

Published in Australia in 2020; published by Atria Books on March 8, 2022

The Dickens Boy is Edward “Plorn” Dickens, Charles Dickens’ youngest son. Having shown no talent for anything beyond cricket, and having failed to confess to his famous father that he never managed to read any of the great man’s novels, Plorn feels both guilt and relief when his father sends him to Australia, a country in which Plorn's brother Alfred already resides. Plorn hopes he can apply himself in a new land and become the kind of man his father might admire.

Plorn quickly discovers that Australians venerate his father just as much as the British. Some have memorized long passages from their favorite Dickens novels. Still, Plorn rejects the employment that was arranged for him on the ground that the employer asks too many dishonorable questions about his father’s dalliance with Plorn’s aunt. The employer to which Plorn next applies, Momba Station in New South Wales, becomes the “place that concentrated the forces of his soul.”

Plorn has experiences he could not have imagined in his father’s sheltering embrace. He is shocked when a man tries to kiss him, but his refusal is polite. He gets high on a substance provided by an Aboriginal friend. His first pleasurable reading experience comes when Dandy Darnell gives him a manuscript in the hope that Plorn’s father will publish it. When Dandy writes of his attraction to his aunt (who has been mistreated by her husband), his writing may be autobiographical. Plorn is coming into his own understanding of sexual desire (15-year-old Constance Desailley is often on his mind) and it is probably for that reason that Dandy’s innuendo-free writing speaks to him. Plorn cannot muster interest in the socially acceptable poetic and indirect descriptions of sexual attraction that are favored by his father’s generation. He is quite taken, however, by Dandy’s references to Blake’s argument that men and women both require “the lineaments of Gratified Desire.”

It is a matter of history and thus not a spoiler that Charles Dickens died while Plorn was still a teenage resident of Australia. The novel takes place before and in the immediate aftermath of that death. In his acknowledgements, Thomas Keneally notes that history does not reveal how Plorn learned of his father’s death. Unfettered by history, Keneally invents a brilliant scene that involves the notorious bushranger Frank Pearson, a/k/a Captain Starlight. Perhaps for good reason, Keneally imagines Plorn undergoing the standard denial stage of death. “The resurrection of Christ was easier to believe in than the death of Charles Dickens.”

Historians seem to regard Plorn, like nearly all of the Dickens children, as a failure. The novel’s sympathetic portrayal imagines Plorn as a person who, living in his father’s constant shadow but lacking his father’s gifts, does his best to live up to his father’s expectations. Keneally imagines that Plorn’s love for and devotion to his father was fierce. Regardless of his successes and failures, Plorn’s steadfast defense of his father makes him an admirable character. The novel ends while Plorn is still young, well before he enters politics and succumbs to debt. Yet it ends on a sad note, perhaps to foreshadow the life that was to follow.

The atmosphere of cricket matches and wool shearing, emus and kangaroos, is vivid. One of the novel’s themes is prejudice against the native “darks,” a prejudice not shared at Momba Station and that Plorn instantly rejects. An open-minded priest who befriends and lives among the Aboriginals plays a modest role in the story. He is indirectly responsible for the coming-of-age moment that causes Plorn to realize that he “had been fatuous trying to grow up into manhood in a measured way.”

One of the delights of reading The Dickens Boy is the discussion of Charles Dickens’ novels and stories, including some passages that characters recite from memory. Dickens’ melodramatic plots are disfavored in the post-modern world, but I still regard him as one of the best storytellers in the history of literature — and certainly one of the best creators of memorable characters. Trollope dismissed Dickens as “Mr. Popular Sentiment,” an insult that (in the novel) Alfred holds against Trollope’s son, who has been relegated to Australia like the Dickens boys.

Alfred parses his father’s work for clues about his father’s views of Australia, a topic that likely of particular interest to Keneally and to Australian readers of Dickens' work. Is Australia a land of convicts or a land where criminals have the opportunity to remake themselves? In his books, Alfred observes, Dickens sends criminals and prostitutes and stupid people to Australia. Does that mean Dickens thought Alfred and Plorn were stupid? The boys have differing opinions, but they aren’t certain of the truth. They also disagree, to an extent, about their father’s moral character. Plorn reads one of his his father’s essays to reaffirm his belief that Charles Dickens was generous in his love for the lowliest members of society (although Plorn hasn’t yet encountered Uriah Heep). One of the novel’s burning questions is whether Plorn will ever read David Copperfield, a question that had me thinking, “Just read it and ask yourself whether you recognize something of your father’s life in its pages.”

Keneally avoids Dickensian melodrama but writes with sentiment about Dickens and his influence upon Australians. Keneally is a skilled storyteller in his own right. The story loses some of its voltage after Plorn’s father dies — eulogies and memories slow the story’s pace as it limps to a conclusion — but the novel as a whole is engrossing.

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Ogres by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Published by Rebellion/Solaris on March 15, 2022

Adrian Tchaikovsky blurs the boundary between science fiction and fantasy by providing scientific explanations of the traditional fantasy themes. In Elder Race, a colony of people who had lost their knowledge of science regarded a man who possessed advanced technology as a sorcerer. In Ogres, when humanity was on the brink of an environmental apocalypse, genetic engineering changed the order of things. Now humans serve masters they regard as ogres — large, strong, and powerful, meat eaters who travel in trains and cars, who rule smaller, inferior, vegetarian humans.

The ogres call humans “Economics” for reasons involving Economic Measures that, in the distant past, favored the ruling class. The Economics don’t understand science and have forgotten their history. They don’t know why meat makes them sick. They view ogres as a different species entirely — a species that Economics exist to serve. Or so they’ve been told by the ogres.

Exactly how the ogres came to exist is a secret that Tchaikovsky reveals early in the novel’s second half. The answer is one that astute readers will probably suspect well before it arrives. A later reveal explains why there are so few humans in such a vast world.

Torquell is a young, unusually large and strong Economic with an independent, mischievous spirit. Torquell enjoys certain privileges as the son of the head servant of an important Master in his village, but he likes to hang out in the forest with Roben and his merry band of outlaws. The story gets started when Torquell loses his temper and defies the Masters. When Torquell realizes the severity of his punishment, he reacts in feral anger. Having no choice but to flee the consequences of his action, Torquell embarks on an adventure that leads him to Baroness Isadora, an ogress who makes him into an entertaining pet. Torquell learns to ask questions and devours volumes of history that help him understand his place in the world.

The story recounts a few years in Torquell’s young life as he discovers his place in the world. Ogres might be seen as an allegory of revolution, the story of an oppressed class that is inspired to rise up against its oppressors. Faced with a choice of working for masters or succumbing to death by poverty, it only takes one person to ask: What if there is a third way? The story eventually confronts Torquell with a moral dilemma (the kind leaders often face in time of crisis) between making a pragmatic compromise that improves life for some humans while leaving the rest enslaved or risking an idealistic path that could either free or destroy all humans. The novel’s ending takes a twist that suggests the choice is illusory, that some moral choices have only one answer.

There are echoes of Ukrainian resistance in some of the scenes, although that could not have been Tchaikovsky’s intent unless he keeps his crystal ball well polished. The ogres have superior technology and firepower; the Economics have heart, although (unlike Ukrainians) their testosterone supply has been limited by genetic engineering.

Tchaikovsky illustrates the axiom that history is written by the victors. History books portray Economics who resisted genetic modification as selfish and wasteful. Ogre historians conveniently omit mention of how genetic modification has served the interests of the ogres. I doubt that Tchaikovsky had this is mind, but there is a clear parallel here with the movement in southern states to ban teaching the reality of white subjugation of black people and the institutionalization of racism that followed.

Another timely theme is the ease with which leaders control followers by feeding them lies. Keeping followers uneducated and dependent on their leaders is essential both to ogres and to certain ogrish leaders in the world we inhabit.

A third theme that resonates is the ability of the ruling class to dismiss what their ancestors did as an unpleasantry that’s not relevant to the present because what’s done is done. Why should the generations that benefitted from their ancestors’ actions take any responsibility for actions that they did not personally take? The answer is obvious to non-ogres who still suffer the generational effects of distant horrors.

Ogres is a novella that Tchaikovsky cut to the bone. Not a word is wasted. If I have a quarrel with Ogres, it is that Tchaikovsky wrote it in the second person (a narrator tells Torquell’s story to Torquell). Second person is almost always a distracting point of view, although the choice makes some sense when we learn the narrator’s identity and the circumstances under which the story is told. Setting that aside, I appreciate Tchaikovsky for writing a brand of smart science fiction that is unlike anything else on the market. He never fails to entertain, but he always manages to illuminate social issues by removing them from a familiar context.

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